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  • thedecompressionst

Conversation not confrontation

So often I hear people sacrifice themselves for everyone else. They break their own heart for the sake of others. They worry about how someone else feels, thinks or reacts to what they do. Relationships are broken because each side just wants to be right, not heard, they fight to justify their actions yet never shut up to listen. They have to have the last word, always on guard, always defensive, always feeling attacked. Their love life is a war zone, yet neither party is totally wrong.

If you learn how to talk without rage, if you learn to listen without judgement, if you are open to speak your truths and hear theirs you can begin to have conversations instead of confrontations. You can say what you mean and mean what you say and carry on. No need for explanation, justification or permission. Just own your truths and except others as well. You can agree to disagree and maturely leave it at that.

You and I could go through the exact same thing and come out of it with a totally different experience, it’s all based off of individuals perspectives, mindset, personal experiences etc. Feelings are not universal, they are not cookie cut identical. We all are uniquely different in many forms and fashion however we all want to be heard, respected, accepted and loved. Once you understand and respect others opinions are theirs and theirs alone you’re able to confidently speak your own, and own it.

Stop trying to justify yourself simply state your facts and move on. If someone is upset about something and confrontational hear them out, look them in the eye and simply say “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Hear them, listen and move on. You can end the fight by not fighting about each others feelings. Regardless of the situation, regardless  of the circumstances or the intentions feeling are feelings, no one can argue against the fact that the feelings are being felt.

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