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Hard Now or Hard Always

Decompression Sessions, Life Coaching with Crystal

Reaching goals are hard, not reaching your goals is harder. You can spend your life having unfavorable habits and living a life you don’t really like. Settling for whatever is vs going out and doing all that you really want. You can spend thousands of dollars in self help books, listen to podcast daily, try all the diet pills, talk about quitting smoking, say all your positive mantras til your blue in the face but you continue to keep doing the things you wanted to change, why?Because it’s familiar and familiar means it can’t hurt you, it’s safe. Our brains are always in a fight, flight or freeze state. The brains job is to protect us from pain, discomfort, hard stuff all while it also believes the lies you tell it.

You can take the hard steps and commit to going after building your dreams business, it will be hard, you’ll face challenges, hardships, growing pains but ultimately you’ll get closer and closer with each step, to living the life you want. Or you can stay at the mediocre job that just pays the bills that continuously fills you with stress, disappointment, guilt, shame, longing what could be….. forever.

You have to do the hard stuff now or it will be hard always. Think about it quit drinking is hard……but dying from liver failure is harder. Nicotine withdrawals are hard but living with copd is harder, watching what you eat is hard but giving yourself a diabetes shot in the stomach is harder. Building a business is hard but showing up to a job you hate every day is harder, being a positive person is hard but believing all the lies you where told about yourself all of your life is harder.

Why do you think we all continue to repeat the same struggles over and over throughout our life. Being overweight trying to stick to a routine, taking the supplements, fasting, drinking a ton of water and hitting the gym religiously for a very short time just to give up and say screw it when we don’t see the immediate results we wanted. It’s because we didn’t do the hard stuff before diving in. We didn’t address what feelings we had to gain the weight in the first place , for example you may over eat when you’re bored or eat a ton of sweets before bed cause you’re lonely, you may be mentally exhausted from your office job and go home and sit in front of the tv or scrolling TikTok for hours on end because you’re trying to numb yourself because you can’t stand the people you work with. You may have been told all your life you’re ugly and worthless and that’s all you see when you look at yourself in the mirror, you may believe the lies so what’s the point in trying. Very rarely do we do things or not do things just because. There is almost always a reason why, the hard part is facing that head on, feeling the pain, address the problem and giving yourself a little grace to work through it.

We go all in and if we mess up the slightest, we say the hell with it and back to nothing. Back to square one. It’s all or nothing. But because you didn’t want to do the hard stuff you’ll have it forever. The discomfort of the change justifies living a lifetime of shame, guilt, sadness, low self esteem, envy, jealousy, resentment etc.. forever. The temporary hard things will improve the more you re-train your brain and continue to take the steps regardless of how big or small.

Imagine having a lifelong dream of skydiving. The moment comes you pay the money, sign all the waivers, go through the training and board the airplane. You get strapped to the instructor and start to panic “Oh no! What the hell did I just get myself into” you can either flip completely out and make them take you back to the landing strip or you can say ok let’s do the damn thing. The scariest part is standing at the door strapped to the guide about to take the leap. All your biggest fears are racing through your head, you’re going to die, what if the parachute gets tangled, if I die how selfish what about my kids, what if I pass out or shit my pants oh my god what did I do!… the moment you leave the plane you’ve committed and have no choice but to just feel your feelings, have your thoughts and carry on, once you pull the cord and the parachute is deployed relieve sweeps over you and you’re able to enjoy the moment soak in the view. Without going through the hard stuff you’d never be where you are right now. Once you have both feet on the ground you are overwhelmed by adrenaline, gratitude, pride and accomplishment. You did it! You made one of your dreams a reality!

The same scenario applies to any and all of your dreams and goals. Do the hard stuff, feel your feeling and have faith it will all work out. Hard now or hard always it’s your choice. I say go for it take the leap and jump out of the damn plane

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