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  • thedecompressionst

I’m fine

Are you OK? Seriously how are? What’s going on? How have you been?

I’m fine.

Really, I’m good, same old same old, I’m ok.

Are you really fine? Or are you fine like a bridge about to crumble, one more car that passes may be the one that brings the bridge down, Are you fine like a tree infested with termites, one more gust of wind may just snap the trunk in two. Are you fine like a sink hole that can’t take on any more weight one more rain drop and the ground will no longer be solid.

It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to have moments of sadness, to draw away from time to time, it’s ok to have doubts, to feel insecure, be afraid or lonely. It’s ok to be mad and upset about things that have happened to you. It’s ok and completely normal, we’ve all been there, feel those feelings. Just don’t shove them deep inside, don’t hide them under the rug. Give them voice. You’ve got to feel them to heal them.

Maybe the person asking if you’re ok, is asking because they see themself in you and recognizes the pain you’re experiencing. Maybe they can help you, guide you or at least be a shoulder to lean on. Maybe the person asking genuinely cares and isn’t just trying to make small talk, maybe they too need a friend. Maybe they where put in your path to pull you out of the shadows of darkness.

Start answering honestly from now on. You don’t have to pour out all your secrets or break completely down but practice giving yourself a voice. Instead of saying “I’m fine”, say, “Man, I’ve definitely had better days, I miss my friend that moved away I feel alone” instead of “I’m ok”, say “I’m doing the best I can, bills, holidays and life has me a bit stressed”. Instead of saying “I’m good” say “Life is good right now but I really miss my grandpa since he’s passed.” This practice goes both ways, if you’re feeling grateful and happy give that voice as well, maybe the person asking could use some encouragement and happiness. Give yourself voice. How are you “I’m great, I just got a promotion”. What have you been up to? “I’ve been going to college I get my degree in May” What’s new with you? “ I’m so excited, I’m engaged and about to get married”

Don’t be afraid to state your truths. The good the bad and the ugly. Be honest with yourself, you have nothing to prove, or be ashamed of. Lean on those around you, lift each other up, you are not alone. I’m fine is the most commonly used lie, the average person uses it 14 times a week, why, why lie? It’s ok to not be ok sometimes own that. Honesty is the best policy.

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