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Two simple letters that changed everything

Being a people pleaser is a protective mechanism and a horrible habit. Often we say YES to things that are, in reality huge NO’S. We do things we don’t want to do to avoid conflict, so we don’t hurt people’s feelings or simple to be accepted. We help people when we need help our self, we give and give until we have nothing else to give never getting in return, we put our needs at the very bottom, we show up to support and praise others, constantly in their corner cheering them on. We are used and abused and keep coming back for more, just because we want someone to love us, see us, hear us, need us….. yet we never truly feel any of those things because the whole relationship is one sided and we both can see it.

Who knew that two simple letters could change everything? N O! No is a beautiful word. It needs no explanation, no justification, no apology, no reasoning. It’s a sentence in its self, No means no, period. Once you're able to pull yourself off the back burner and actually start focusing on you and incorporate “I” back into the equation you’ll notice a huge weight lifted off your shoulders, the pressure of pleasing everyone else is no longer your burden to bear. You can start doing things you actually want and live your life genuinely. When you start to say no to the things you don’t want to do it frees you up to be able to say a heartfelt yes to all you want. When you truly want to help someone and you do it solely because YOU want to there is no resentment, no IOUs, no what’s in it for me, it’s genuine and truly because you want to. You become more authentic no strings attached, no hidden agenda, and no intent. Just simply you.

You have to be accountable! Yes people have used you but YOU let them, people over look you but YOU let them, people take you for granted but YOU let them. How you allow others to treat you is exactly how you treat yourself. Snap out of it, you deserve better, you are better, so do better. Start loving yourself above all.

Realize what’s yours and not yours. Stop taking everyone else’s problems on as your own, stop stressing and wasting energy on things that don’t serve you.

Sally lost her job now she’s behind on her car payment, not your problem.

Karen is fighting with her husband and feels unappreciated, not your problem.

Your coworker drinks too much, not your problem.

You son spends his money recklessly, not your problem.

Your friend needs a babysitter, not your problem.

Your husband has a broken relationship with his brother, not your problem.

If you want to help great, but if not great! Learn to say no! Understand what yours and what’s not, stop inserting yourself, you’ve got your own life to live focus on that and mind your own business not everyone else’s. Remember YOU matter and YOU should matter to YOU!

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