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As a kid while we’re learning about life and figuring out new things we look to our parents for praise. We get game balls, trophies and have team captains, while playing sports we look to our coaches for validation. When we get our first job we seek our bosses approval, in our first relationship we look to our partner for reassurance. As a kid we need to be told we’re doing good, we need the pat on the back, we need to be celebrated and encouraged by our friends, teachers, family members, team mates and coworkers. Life is new to us as kids and we’re learning, we need validation.

When we grow up often our self worth is a reflection of our childhood experiences and weather we where validated or not. A lot of the times people that struggle with low self esteem as adults didn’t get the praise growing up or never felt like they where enough or worthy. They may be people pleasers, or struggle with always saying yes, they are searching for that outward validation because they never developed their inner validation, their confidence, their self awareness and worth. As a adult it’s our responsibility to take our power back we have to believe in and validate ourself. Until you believe in you, it doesn’t matter how many times someone tells you you're great, or praises your work, or gives you that pat on the back you won’t believe it until YOU believe it. Literally you could be famous have hundreds or thousands of people telling you you’re awesome, you’re loved, you’re great but if you can’t see it in yourself than all their praises fall on deaf ears.

Your own personal inner validation matters the most it’s the cake, other people’s outer validation is just the frosting on top. Don’t live your life trying to please everyone around you, you do not need their approval, acceptance, or validation to be worthy. You need to believe you’re worthy, yourself. Don’t live your life worrying what other people think or feel that’s their problem not yours. Your responsible for your own feelings, be confident and allow yourself to feel them. Stop worrying about what other people think about you worry about what you think about yourself

Be your own cheerleader, praise your accomplishments, recognize all your hard work, acknowledge all your achievements and efforts. Open your eyes and really look at yourself in the mirror. Knock away all your shortcomings or flaws and really look at all the good within yourself. Stop focusing on the negative, change your perspective. Train your brain to see the good. A great tool I’ve learned is to follow every negative thought with a positive thought. For an example you may think your feet are ugly but tell yourself by God they get you where you need to go, you may say things like “I hate my frizzy hair but dang I have pretty eyes” or “man I’m a horrible dancer but can fry some mean chicken” or “I suck with talking to my peers but damn I’m a awesome photographer” get in a habit of balancing out your negativity. We can only see what we focus on and if all we focus on is negative we can never see all the positive, that goes for all aspects of your life. It’s time to stop seeking outer validation and seek inner acceptance, inner peace, inner praise, inner validation and inner worthiness . You are amazing and I hope you see it in yourself, if not I hope you learn to counter your negative thoughts with positive thoughts and retrain your brain, so you can.

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